Coffee Thoughts

Coffee Thoughts

We were not created to suppress, we were created to express. 

I spent the last week suppressing my emotions toward leaving on The WorldRace and all of the tasks involved with the preparation process. All that suppressing only led to further turmoil for my body, mind and soul. Honestly! Choosing to suppress the overwhelming emotions I felt lead to spiraling thoughts of fears, heartaches, should haves, would haves and could haves. It caused me to disconnect relationally, to focus only on what was happening internally without focusing on what was happening around me and the conversations others were so thoughtfully engaged with. It also lead to physical exhaustion and evidently catching a cold. A cold, in July?! I’m telling you, all caused by trying to tell my body not to feel.

This morning, as I entered the airport alone, facing reality I was swept up by feelings of peace, clarity and excitement. Why? Because I no longer have need to suppress my feelings, the overwhelming and daunting tasks, good-byes and packing is done. While sitting on the airplane, enjoying coffee, the window seat and some coffeehouse tunes I was brought to life again, able to smile and enjoy each passing moment, fully engaged. The stark difference in state of mind led me to this realization: 

Choosing to connect with the emotions you are feeling brings so much more life than choosing to suppress them. Choosing to connect brings freedom to experience the fullness of life. When we suppress our emotions, we disconnect from life happening around us. We fail to maintain positive relationships with loved ones because we become hardened to them. We refuse to participate in activities happening around us, perhaps physically we are still there but we become so removed mentally and emotionally. Ultimately, suppression leads to missing out, negative perspectives and lethargy. 

I’ve spent the last week missing out on feelings of excitement and sadness and anticipation because I was trying to suppress feeling overwhelmed. Trying to suppress my negative feelings actually put me in a downward spiral to further feelings of overwhelm. Instead, if I would have allowed my overwhelm to bring me to and through a breaking moment, I would have then been free to move forward with excitement and anticipation. 

As I jumped on the plane this morning, I sat with coffee in hand and tried to embrace my reality. A good reality. Not only do I get to spend the next 4 days enjoying and celebrating life with family and good friends, I get to leave from here for Training Camp, the next step leading up to my WorldRace journey!

So anyway, I’ve decided to embrace my moment by moment this morning and express the freedom and joy I’ve found. If you look for me, you’ll find me fully engaged with my life happening right here, right now.